Joke of the day.

When life gives you lemons, don't ever make lemonade, give the lemons back and ask for chocolate.

#1

Hmm.
I haven't checked into here in awhile, so let me fill you in. I was bored. All of the time. I got out of school, which was absolutely amazing, so now I'm free to just do play basketball or whatevs. Got no sports, football starts in the fall. which is too long, and I might go to this camp, which is okay, but we go recycling.  BOOORRRINNGGG. we started to do this space project in science, but we didnt even finish it! it was FOR NOTHING! Geez. Anyways, ill come back in more often now thats it summer.
Follow Meh!

Mornin'!

Good morning everyone!
Just checking in to see that we almost have 100 visitors! Also, I have added many "gadgets" to the blog. If you scroll to the very bottom of the page, it'll show a "Dog of the Day." This will show a picture of a cute puppy. Everyday it will be different, so come back to see! Also, on your left, there is a place where you can donate to help save animals that are becoming extinct. We already have 18 hours, so good job everyone! Also, we have Hungry little fish, which are fish that follow your mouse. You can place food in the tank by clicking on your mouse, and the Fish will automatically eat the food. It's quite entertaining to watch. We also have how many visitors have come, What posts I have made, and the Archives.
Back to world news, everyone is talking about the government shutdown, which is happening now, I believe. It doesn't seem that bad yet, but many people may be protesting outside the White House in D.C. No one will be paid except the government, which doesn't seem fair at all. Also, Tax refunds will be delayed, since the IRS is closed. Stocks are lowering, so sell them while you can.
Spring is coming up, and I cannot wait! :D It means swimming pools start to open, hot temperatures come to the States! (Planting and eating veggies is NOT the best part.) Easter is coming up, gotta love the chocolate you get! Anyone heard of QVC? Don't watch it. My mom actually MAKES me watch it. Still pretty cold out there right now, although Travis (The Weather Dude) says it's supposed to get to 60 degrees today, which isn't even hot anyways. So I guess I won't be playing FootHoop today unless Travis was wrong, and it gets to like 80 today.
I also got 2 new fish replacements today, and My mom made me promise to feed them this time. As you guessed it, yes, they died. Maybe I'll get a picture later so you can see the new fishies. Anyways, Maybe I'll check in later with the Fish.
See everyone later!
~~Joe.

Random Thoughts

Sorry I didn't check in yesterday, couldn't really update much! :) I'm here today.
So, since I live in VA, all the talk has been about Donald Trump buying the famous Kluge Estate and purchasing the right to make it "Trump Wine." Who could care less!? Put some more interesting news on! I'd rather watch an old man on the toilet than this!
Back to serious thinking, all of my thoughts go out to Japan. Another Earthquake hit yesterday, not as big as the last one, but still pretty noticeable. It was a 7.1 magnitude earthquake that went on for a FULL MINUTE. I hope everyone sends their prayers out to them.
Also a Congrats to UCONN College basketball team with the win of the NCAA tournament :D Also, I believe a gorilla predicted that winner. I think now they;re making the same gorilla pick the winner of The Masters. ( A golf tournament.)
The NFL draft is soon, and I can't wait. I play Fantasy football on NFL.com, and it's really fun, you guys should ALL check it out, it's really neat as well. We are under a flood warning, but as long as long as the power doesn't go out, I'll probably be checking in tomorrow.
See ya'll later! (God, that sounds really southern!)
~~Joe.

Vacation Places

Everyone loves a Vacation. Except for Couch Potato's. And Hobo's. I'll get to that story later. I love the beaches of Florida. Here's a picture and the trail that leads down to the beach from our Beach House:

 But no one loves a Vacation when you can't go anywhere:

 So about the Hobo story. I was walking in England down a street in Hastings when I see this Hobo on the street. I offered him some bread, and he said Thank You. I had enough money back then to say this: "You look like you need a Vacation, I have a cruise ship ticket leaving for the Phillipines in two days, and I can't go. Would you like to?" The Hobo Replied. "I Hate Vacations! (At this point he was shaking his arm violently) You stay away from home for a long time!" At that point I just decided to walk away.

Laters everyone~ Joe.

Evony

Has anyone ever heard of Evony? I play it all the time. It's basically a MMORPG, which stands for Massively Multi-player Online Role Playing Game. It's really fun, where you build Halls, upgrade hero's, make resources, train troops and Battle. It's actually a strategy game. Yes, for you girls, girls play it too. So anyways, I hope to see you as an Evonian one day. Just go to Evony.com to play.
Check in later~ Joe.

Jokes and Stories

Today I read funny stories for like 2 hours.
Some of the best ones were pretty funny, they actually made me laugh out loud.
These are my favorites:

Free puppies: ½ cocker spaniel, ½ sneaky neighbor’s dog.
^ Favorite.


FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows everything.


Nice Parachute – Never opened. Used once.
^ I mean seriously? If it was never opened, how could it have been used once?


Shakespeare’s Pizza. Free chopsticks.
^ Why would you need Chopsticks to eat pizza?


Tickle-Me-Elmo, still in box, comes with its own 1988 Ford Mustang, 5L, Auto, Excellent condition $6800.
^ Nice! Bundle a little useless toy with a Ford Mustang. Nice selling strategy!!

One day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer. As soon as he starts to draw a crowd, a zoo keeper grabs him and drags him into his office. The zoo keeper explains to the mime that the zoo's most popular attraction, a gorilla, has died suddenly and the keeper fears that attendance at the zoo will fall off.

He offers the mime a job to dress up as the gorilla until they can get another one. The mime accepts.

So the next morning the mime puts on the gorilla suit and enters the cage before the crowd comes. He discovers that it's a great job. He can sleep all he wants, play and make fun of people and he draws bigger crowds than he ever did as a mime. However, eventually the crowds tire of him and he tires of just swinging on tires. He begins to notice that the people are paying more attention to the lion in the cage next to his. Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience, he climbs to the top of his cage, crawls across a partition, and dangles from the top to the lion's cage. Of course, this makes the lion furious, but the crowd loves it.

At the end of the day the zoo keeper comes and gives the mime a raise for being such a good attraction. Well, this goes on for some time, the mime keeps taunting the lion, the crowds grow larger, and his salary keeps going up. Then one terrible day when he is dangling over the furious lion he slips and falls. The mime is terrified.

The lion gathers itself and prepares to pounce. The mime is so scared that he begins to run round and round the cage with the lion close behind. Finally, the mime starts screaming and yelling, "Help me, help me!", but the lion is quick and pounces. The mime soon finds himself flat on his back looking up at the angry lion and the lion says, "Shut up you idiot! Do you want to get us both fired?"

These all were like hysterical, but ^ that is my favorite long joke right there. I'm not even sure they have real animals at this so called "Zoo."

Check in tommorow, thanks for reading!